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various moods for 2022—writing autobiographically, making intense & personal projects—examining the past as a model to avoid for the future—

i’ve always felt there are two versions of the self—internal dialogues & the various attempts we make at revealing that person to the world, then that presentation as it is interpreted by others. somewhere in the middle is who we are in this reality—yet the glare of those reflections shift over time, then so do we—

photo by carola di poi

change is the only constant—the universe performs its natural balancing act, we somehow try to keep up with our own, adapting to the state of the world & the state of society against the state of the self—

but can one ever really change themselves? or are we simply subject to that self-reflection, waiting for the glare to simply illuminate the truth that hides in the shadows?

a streak in the sky. some say the plane is part of a government conspiracy. i wonder where they’re heading—not the aircraft, but its passengers. this was easier in mar vista, closer to LAX, where the altitude & any directional change would be quite revealing. here each flight out has ascended & even the buildings are obscured to any eyes above affixed to what they’re leaving behind. there is no reason to think anything of los angeles now—perhaps there never was.

i’ve slipped on my lists, my writings. this chameleon of a world is full of predators & i am just sitting on the stoop, trying to enjoy my tea, thinking too much about caffeine. i guess it’s better than whiskey. the archive of my temptations is an extensive bibliography & my misdirection will continue, but hopefully just as footnotes. one day at a time. i’ve remembered how to write in verse once again. the rest i have yet to re-learn with these shaking, but not yet broken, hands.

Colin Smith (b. 1982, based in Los Angeles) works in a form of assembly within and across disciplines, both in digital and analogue formats. Following in the ideas of media theorist Marshall McLuhan, the medium of his work is often dictated by its message—the diversity of projects that result are each an attempt to represent a particular thesis, a certain context.

Educated in graphic design and photojournalism, and self-taught in the visual arts, Smith has additionally worked as an art director, freelance designer or creative consultant for a variety of small businesses and independent clients around the world.

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