Why even try to write about any of this now? There is so much happening on a daily basis that it’s difficult to keep track of, much less maintain a discourse on. The climate crisis? War? Artificial intelligence? Wealth disparity? Global fascism? Genocide? Wage stagnation? What’s the point?

I think right now that question—Why bother?—is more interesting to me than the sum total of all the issues being faced, because it points directly to the crux of the problem. There is a bottleneck between the outcry for necessary change and administrative action to set it in motion, and that stagnation leads to division, rage, and despair among the people. This does not feel unintentional.

In a 2017 town hall debate on CNN, Nancy Pelosi replied to a question regarding the popularity of a more socialist economic agenda with, “We’re capitalists.” When I watched that live, it felt like a real mask-off, with-us-or-against-us moment for the Democratic party. Regardless of who is in power, there will never be a political agenda that prioritizes the well-being of the people over that of economic growth (and, when it comes down to it, individual profits). Nearly ten years later and it feels like liberals still won’t acknowledge that when you play the tape of capitalism to the end of the line, you end up with a guy like Donald Trump in power every time.

But the fact is the Democrats have no interest in what their constituents want, regardless of what it costs them. Kamala Harris lost in 2024 due to her pro-Israel stance during a genocide. Instead of even acknowledging that, the DNC buried the campaign autopsy because it said just as much. The Democrats won’t admit why they lost, and by doing so, won’t have to change any policy that might prevent donations coming in from AIPAC. If they won’t change their tune on supporting a genocidal apartheid state, I can’t imagine they’ll turn against Wall Street.

And this is what we’re stuck with—a hyperactive social media machine, a lazy and dying fourth estate protecting corporate interests, and a government that could give a fuck about any of it. We’re just in a cycle of talking amongst ourselves ad nauseam while nothing changes—constantly gaslit into an echo of reacting to one crisis after another, being exhausted by the lack of response by anyone in power. This repetition can only go on so long before it breaks into fits of action, at which point I think we’ll see the iron fist of the state really begin to squeeze.

At the very best, it’s demoralizing and leaves a feeling of futility to any creative endeavor. If nothing else, all I can do is imagine that when the dust settles and whatever comes next finally arrives, there will be some kind of record on how it all went down. Sometimes bearing witness is all you can do.

The view from the new David Geffen Galleries

I’ve been spending some time at LACMA since the opening of the David Geffen Galleries earlier this summer. It’s nothing short of remarkable and easily has inserted itself into the conversation of not only the best art museum in Los Angeles, but possibly the entire west coast. (SFMOMA might still be on top and remains the only good thing about San Francisco—although the museum’s recent use of AI in a Google-sponsored exhibit certainly works against it.)

Conveniently enough, LA Metro debuted the D-Line expansion around the same time as the new galleries opened, making it even easier to get to mid-city. Returning home one night from the museum on the train, a guy in the group of friends next to me exclaimed, “I can’t believe we just got from La Brea to K-Town in two minutes. That’s insane.” (This is a trip that would take at least 15 minutes driving traffic-free.)

The new Metro station at Wilshire / Fairfax

These two expansions are probably the best thing to happen to LA since I moved here in 2020 and are desperate reminders how the places we live in the United States are sorely lacking for growth, be it in infrastructure, housing, or third spaces. The LACMA opening weekend brought in 60,000 visitors while the new Metro line lead to the highest ridership in six years.

It’s tough to watch countries like China undertake drastic urban development while the city council and mayor of Los Angeles worked to block new housing just last year. Politicians in the United States aren’t exactly known for getting things done, but it seems these days most are actively working against doing things for the people who elect them.

It’s just disheartening to see such positive response to a couple local changes to culture and public transit while so much of our city budget goes to the LAPD and our federal dollars to war and genocide and more cops. It isn’t difficult to imagine how much better life could be, but living in America, it just feels so out of reach.

I moved recently. Or, perhaps, I’m in the process of moving. I still have some floors to vacuum and trash to throw away and a microwave to drive from East Hollywood to MacArthur Park. Nevertheless, things are in motion and perhaps that’s one of the reasons I’ve decided to begin writing online once again. Clean slates, fresh starts, et cetera.

I can’t exactly say why I stopped to begin with. It was a number of factors. My usual writing partner (a stiff drink) has been out of my life for coming up on five years now and, to be honest, it’s been proving incredibly challenging to get in the mood for anything creative while sober. Drinking can be a destructive habit, sure, but it also allowed for me to blur out the mess of the world and focus on just what I was feeling. Without that assistance, the overwhelming existential weight of everything makes the idea of writing, drawing, or even getting out of bed in the morning feel like a pointless endeavor. What good is it to do anything in America these days, anyway?

Then there’s the Dead Internet Theory, which contributes even more to the tsunami of What the fuck am I even bothering with any of this for? thought patterns that plague every spark of inspiration I may get these days. With most of the internet a devolving dialogue between bots and the rest of it a grotesque monetization scheme amidst the dying embers of capitalism, contributing to the static doesn’t feel like a valuable way to spend my time. (This is to say nothing of a declining literacy rate and the fact most people get content in short-form video now.)

Anyway, I’m moving, and I don’t know if it’s my new IP address or just the timing, but from my new place I can no longer watch YouTube videos. The site requires I sign in (I do not have an account) in order to view any of their content. For whatever reason, this pushed me over the edge and I guess re-starting this little blog is my way of putting one more site on the internet that doesn’t track its audience—no required log-in, no storing of cookies. Just whatever bullshit I come up with, free to any and all to read or leave.

So we’ll see where this goes, or if I can maintain it. I’ve taken down all the writing and work archives, as it’s been too long since I’ve painted anything and don’t really feel like hosting shit from ten years ago. I guess it was good while it lasted.