today marks two years since the murder of george floyd. there aren’t many headlines about it, given what happened yesterday. even though i’ve seen no articles about it, there certainly is a common thread through both of these horrific incidents: the gutless & self-interested nature of police.

here’s an account of how the police acted prior to the massacre in uvalde yesterday, via the new york times:

The Uvalde Police Department then received a call about a crashed vehicle and an individual with a weapon making his way to the school, Lt. Olivarez said.

Law enforcement officials who arrived at the school and tried to enter the building were met with gunfire by the suspected gunman, he said.

“Some of those officers were shot, so at that point they began breaking windows around the school, trying to evacuate children, teachers, anybody they could trying to get them out of that building, out of that school,” Lt. Olivarez said.

so these officers, who were apparently well enough to break windows, decided to stay outside the school when they knew someone was inside murdering children. their initial excuse was the gunman was wearing a significant amount of body armor—which is actually not true at all.

to me, the way firefighters walk into a burning building should be the standard for all public safety. cops should walk into a school when they know someone is inside with a gun. if they die, they die ‘heroes.’ but to prevent the deaths of children seems like it should be priority #1.

but the cops wouldn’t enter a school & risk a gunfight to try & save the lives of those kids. who knows if they actually would or could have, but isn’t that the whole point of the police? so after a massacre, the families of the dead can be consoled by the idea that at least everyone did their job & there was no chance their kids could still be alive?

The writing on the wall · Portland, 2020

two years ago, we saw the same gut-wrenching indifference to life in derek chauvin holding his knee on the neck of george floyd for eight minutes & forty-six seconds. we all saw it in broad daylight, where chauvin didn’t even care he was being filmed murdering a man. this was just short of six years from the last time a black man was killed by a police officer on camera in broad daylight whose last words were “i can’t breathe,” when daniel pantaleo choked eric garner to death on staten island.

floyd, knowingly or not, used a counterfeit $20 bill at a convenience store. eric garner was approached by police, suspected of selling single cigarettes. these men were murdered on camera for no other reason than the cops were that confident in being able to get away with it.

the writing on the wall is clear. it’s covered in the names of the dead, proof of a failed state. proof that abolition of the police is necessary or fascism is inevitable. the victims of police violence are erased from walls, pushed out of the news cycle. the radio might note the killing of 12-year-old tamir rice every 22nd of november & move on to the daily report on the status of the stock market. we’re all witness to it, yet somehow divided on the value of a life. capitalism is going to kill us all.

i’ve been struggling in aa meetings today. we’re supposed to accept all in recovery, and while i know it’s a character defect to be dealt with in the seventh step, i just can’t. i want those cops to be alcoholics & i want them to drink themselves to death. being a cop is a choice. making decisions while on duty is a choice. and it’s hard to reconcile that picking up a bottle is as well. i don’t want those guys to recover from anything. i hope the blood on their hands haunts them into darkness forever. i hope they choke.